Over the last 6 months, inspired partially by the life changing baby that the stork is about do deliver to us, I have made some changes in my MD/PhD training trajectory. These changes in my training have brought on their fair share of uncertainty and stress. I am rather uncomfortable being in a position where I will be upsetting someone. I feel that I was not put on this earth to cause people harm or unhappiness, so when it came down to having to fall short of expectations and rock the boat a bit to follow my heart, I took everything rather personally. It is true that as you work in medicine and research, you must learn to let things be as they will be, and try your best not to take them to heart. I say this as if I am good at it – hah, quite the contrary. I am terrible at this. In the process of training changes, I cast out many tears of disappointment and guilt after taking things to heart. I am only slowly beginning to learn to be strong. One major motivation for new strength was that over the course of this experience I could feel my peaceful home was turning sour. It all seemed to come home with me at night. There was no chance I was going to show my frustration and sadness at work, so it started to take a toll on my home and the people that I love. Once I realized this, I knew I had to make some major changes. I had to be more carefree. I had to laugh and smile. I needed to be more confident. I needed to stop the undue anxiety, and it was about time I try to forgive and forget. Forgiveness is what is truly powerful.
As a kind and gentle warning, following you heart and your passions is not for the undetermined or those who have any inclination of wavering. When making some major changes that will not please everyone, it’s important that you have the support of your family, friends and those you hold dear. They are going to be the voices that you rely on to remind you that your dreams are worth it. They will be the people you turn to when you start questioning your priorities.
I’m writing this to remind you that important things in life do not come easy. I sit on the other side of these career changes – and I am pleased, satisfied and proud that I have held true to myself. There are many things to be happy about. I am Alyce. It is about time to get back to these carefree roots and enjoy life a bit!
Cheers to happiness!